Emerging from the dark side of pain

Pain is a tidal wave that overtakes you, hits you with unimaginable force, drags you into its darkness, where you fall and crash into unidentifiable surfaces, only to be thrown onto an unfamiliar beach, bruised, remodeled … Pain It will turn you into a new person, if it doesn’t kill you in the process. ~ Stephanie Ericsson

Pain is one of the deepest and most painful human emotions. Your terrible sadness and subsequent grief may be the consequence of one of countless circumstances. Some examples may include a severe cancer diagnosis, permanent disability, or amputation. Perhaps you are a wounded warrior fighting with visible or invisible wounds. You may reel in grief over the loss of a loved one. You feel deprived of your share of happiness. You feel shattered inside and the pain has settled in your heart and mind like a thick dark fog.

You have reason to cry.


Only when you understand what pain is and how powerfully it can imprison your thoughts, emotions, and even your whole person, can you begin to work through your pain. Understanding your pain and what you can do about healing helps you begin your healing journey to a healthier and happier place.

Understanding the emotions associated with your pain is essential to your healing. It is important to remember that the grieving period varies for each person. Whatever the cause of your pain, it is my deepest wish to express how sorry I am to know that you are on a path of pain. To all who are grieving, mourning, injured, disabled, lonely, or heartbroken, I extend my compassion and love. To those of you who have experienced deep pain, sadness or loss and have survived, I salute you!

Consequences of pain

When a significant loss occurs, it can leave you stunned, shocked, and filled with pain. Helpless, hopeless, heartbroken, abandoned, and stranded are emotions you may experience.

Obstacles are like wild animals. They are cowards but they will fool you if they can. If they see that you are afraid of them, they are likely to pounce on you; but if you look them directly in the eye, they will disappear from view. ~ Orison Swett Marden

Although you may feel lost and hopeless for a period of time, ultimately, there can be hope and healing. While it is necessary to go through the grieving process, don’t let pain take away your faith in God, love of life, and most importantly, hope. I invite you to embrace each moment to find healing, harmony, hope and your peace and joy in living.

Self pity

It is important to remember that the grieving period varies for each person. You deserve your own compassion and it is essential to be gentle and kind to yourself during the grieving process. Respect and honor their grievance. It is essential that you respect your grieving circumstance. Don’t compare your pain to someone else’s pain. Yours is personal and unique. Remember that you deserve your own compassion and kindness.

Just as you would like to comfort and support another person who is having a difficult time, believe that you deserve this kindness, too. Consider how you might comfort someone who is grieving. What kindness could you show them? What kind and loving words could you say to help them? How could you model this to help yourself? In your grief relief journal, write at least 5 ways you will show kindness, care, and kindness to yourself in this moment of your own grief. Do at least one of these things today.

Complaints partner

Trying to survive your pain without the help of others for comfort and support is not a good option. Trying to get over your pain will only hamper your progress and may even cause you to become severely depressed due to loneliness and isolation. As difficult as it may sound, it is critical that you seek the support of others and find ways to express your needs. Relationships are essential to your well-being.

Crying with someone can sometimes be more healing than crying alone. Great comfort and peace, even hope, can come to those who know they have someone to turn to in times of crisis or need. There is strength and power in prayer and communion with your God. Are family or friends available to comfort you? Is there a grief support group in your geographic area? Have you looked for a support group for caregivers? You will likely find a chapter member who will help you better understand and see the steps to heal grief.

You are not alone

Beyond your deep pain, it can be extremely difficult for you to believe that right now there may be hope, joy, and peace in your life. Can you let literally thousands more, who have reason to cry, give you hope? You are not alone. Think of 3 ways others have been able to reconcile their pain. Consider searching the Internet for stories of how others have successfully overcome their difficult challenges. Let these examples empower you.

Emerging and waking up from a deep, dark and unwanted grieving condition is often surreal. Unlike a bad dream that can be ignored, your pain is always present. The dire consequences of grievances cause permanent change. Some of life’s changes cannot be controlled, but must be accepted as reality. You can’t get your old life back as if you were rereading an old email.


Although it is difficult to do so on your claim, you must agree to the change in status. Deferring action to do so is not a worthwhile option. Pick four things you will do today to embrace the new you and your new circumstance. Don’t dwell on taking hold of your new you with acceptance and a commitment of your own to fully embrace your condition.

You can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, your life held up by the weight of your loss. Choosing to rise above the pain point in your life is a better option. You have the inner power not only to prepare to live, but to live. There may be times when you take one step forward and two steps back. However, unlike many acquired earthly things, character is portable. You can transfer the essence of your experience, which is character, to empower you to face unexpected obstacles. Decide now to wake up and emerge from the dark side of your pain. Especially today think that you can. Today use your inner strength to bring you more happiness, peace and joy.

Remember that you are in mourning because of your grieving condition. The pain never ends. Your ability to better cope with your pain increases and intensifies your ability to find more happiness on the other side of your pain and grief. Learning to reconcile more often increases your happiness. This understanding brings more harmony to a life more full of hope. You can achieve a healthier recovery if you clearly understand that healing is in reconciling your pain. Finding moments of happiness and well-being should be your daily goal. Are you?

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