How to last longer in bed by changing the way you think to improve your sexual stamina

One of the main reasons men suffer from premature ejaculation, which simply means reaching orgasm earlier than ideal, when they have sex, is because they have a negative mindset. And it’s no wonder when you think about it. Our minds rule our bodies. If we are sad, we cry. If we are happy, we smile and walk with confidence. And yes, if we have the wrong mindset, we guys can climax too early during sex. Is that how it works.

Let’s take an imaginary guy named James, who orgasms too soon. He knows this and is very, very aware of the fact that he wants to be able to last longer and satisfy himself and his partners more. You’ve been sexually active for a few years, it really doesn’t matter how long, the point is, you’re not happy with your performance. Fast forward to a sexual encounter. Even before the foreplay begins, as soon as the opportunity or possibility to have sex arises, in the back of his mind is the nagging thought: “This time I would like to last longer than in the past, but will I? ? ” ejaculate too soon? Already, consciously or unconsciously, his performance is tinged with negative emotion. He is providing additional pressure that he doesn’t really need. Before sex he was thinking about foreplay, during foreplay he is thinking about how he is going to satisfy the woman , and all the time in the back of your mind overshadowing your thoughts is that question: “Am I going to ejaculate too soon?” This technique focuses on bringing you to the present and avoiding the negative emotion that causes thinking about what happened in the past or what might happen the next time you have sex.

Apart from sex, you can witness how we operate on autopilot. Every day, we step out of the present and head into the future when we don’t really need it. Walking down the street you are thinking about work, at work you are thinking about sex, during sex … well, we know what you are thinking about during sex. The point is, to relax, focus, and enjoy sex for long periods of time, you need to be in the present. Inadvertently thinking about what could happen (ejaculating too soon) diverts your attention from what is really happening: you are moving up the stimulation scale. This, in turn, hinders your ability to identify how close you are to orgasm, making prevention impossible.

This technique has a simple goal: to increase self-awareness and return to the present during sex. It is used during the plateau stage of sex, the difficult part, where maintaining control of yourself is the most important and difficult. What you should do is, from time to time, ask yourself a couple of simple questions in your head. “Do I feel tense or relaxed?” and “How close am I to reaching orgasm?” It is very important that you say the questions in your head and not just “think” about them. In fact, say every word.

The first question uses a simple psychological principle to relax you and bring you to the current situation. If, after wondering if you feel tense, you notice that your shoulders are tense or that you are tensing your stomach when it is not necessary, you do not need to think about what to do next. Your shoulders drop automatically and your taut midsection relaxes.

Ask yourself the second question: “How close am I to reaching orgasm?” It’s something you should do during sex: identify where you are on the stimulation scale. This brings you into the present and focuses you, but saying the question in your head every now and then is doubly effective!

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