If you are going through a breakup right now, then your emotions are super charged and heightened and you are just not acting like yourself, are you? Here are the top 20 breakup mistakes that are not only driving your ex crazy, but also guaranteeing that you will never get back together. I’m going to reveal what they are and then explain how you can completely clean the board and still get them back.
I have compiled my top 20 breakup mistakes after months of mentoring men and women in 31 countries going through a very painful breakup. I invite you to read each one of them and take notes if necessary and keep reading until the end, where I reveal how you can still get them back even if you have made all the mistakes on this list.
Error n. # 1: allow your ex to totally control your life
You and your ex may not even realize that you are doing this or that you are actually allowing your ex to do this, but after your breakup, your knee-jerk reaction is to fully analyze virtually every facet of your relationship. and its breaking to the brim. of going crazy.
That is not going to accomplish anything and will only keep you stuck in the healing process.
Error n. # 2: stay friends with your ex
Many heartbroken people remain friends with their ex for one reason only: in the hope that one day they will realize that they are destined to be together.
INCORRECT. Once you get into the friend trap, it is very difficult to get out of it and it is not something I recommend.
Error n. # 3: bombard your ex with text messages
Basically, you are not leaving your ex just because you don’t want him to carry on with his life without you.
This is one of the worst things you can do because often all you do is make sure they made the right decision by not being with you right now.
Error n. # 5: send angry emails to your ex
Just like before, when you make this mistake, you take it out on your ex in anger about the pain he has caused you.
THIS IS A NO-NO because all it will do is create a potentially permanent rift between you and ensure that your ex moves in very fast.
Error n. # 6: send desperate emails to your ex
This error is different from that of n. 5 because instead of being angry, you are desperate. You are acting quite cowardly trying to get your ex to understand how much they have broken your heart and how much you need them in your life.
When you behave this way, you are acting high maintenance and also too desperate, and that will NOT be attractive to your ex!
Error n. # 7: call your ex 24 hours a day
Let’s face it, you’re not calling them with good intentions; He is calling them because he wants to know where they are, if they are at home, who are they with, is there anyone at home with them?
This type of bullying behavior could end with an AVO, so wait, this is not the way to get your ex’s attention!
Error n. # 8: stalk your ex regularly where they hang out
Well, all of a sudden you have this crazy desire to be wherever your ex goes, because if you’re not there, how are they going to think of you now that they’re not together anymore, right?
INCORRECT! Not only will this not seem like a coincidence, but it will really put your ex off, it will also put off your friends and your ex’s friends, and you could end up with a nice little visit from a cop!
Error n. # 9: lend money to your ex
So you are throwing good money at your ex because you think that this way you will be able to keep in touch with your ex and he “owes” you.
AGAIN INCORRECT. You’re setting yourself up for not just an emotional but a financial downfall here … Once your ex knows that they can come to you as their ATM, they’ll feed you lies and nonsense to make you feel like you ‘are special to them. ….. but there will always be a BUT!
Mistake # 10: being friends with your ex’s family
While there is nothing wrong with being on friendly terms with your ex’s family, if you suddenly start dating them in hopes of accidentally running into your ex, that’s not good.
Error n. 11: try to make your ex jealous
The key to making someone jealous is NOT to make it obvious. However, many people, unfortunately, are not very good at this and they make it very clear when they have their cousin’s best friend from the interstate playing their instant love interest when they come to town on a quick visit.
In fact, you’ll have much better luck if you move on with your life and don’t be afraid to meet new people.
Mistake # 12 – Having sex with your ex
Yes, a partner recently emailed me saying that we just broke up and that we will meet tomorrow for sex, okay?
Why do you think it’s okay?
I mean, if you want to be your ex’s boyfriend or girlfriend, you have to stop acting like their girlfriend or boyfriend when you’re no longer in a relationship with them; otherwise, what incentive will they have to get back with you?
Error n. # 13: constantly ask your ex for a second chance
You can’t get by without your ex, that’s clear, but you don’t need to constantly make it obvious to your ex all the time.
While that will certainly stroke their ego, it will probably drive them totally crazy too, so keep a low profile and you’ll achieve much better results.
Mistake # 14: badmouthing your ex to your family and friends
Unless you plan to never be with your ex again, don’t badmouth him or her to everyone close to you. And definitely don’t reveal some juicy tidbits that your ex would die if they knew you told them.
You have to think about the big picture here … Your ex will never get back with you unless they are 100% comfortable doing so.
Error n. # 15: badmouth your ex with your family and friends
It applies even more to your ex’s friends and family. Never think for a moment that they will keep their conversations with your ex private.
If you speak ill of her, you will not only bring out the creeps of your ex, but also those of his friends and family.
Error n. # 16: throw pity parties
Another desperate effort to get back together, to make your ex feel sorry for you … some people even dare to say that they will kill themselves if they don’t get back with you.
Not only is that blackmail totally childish and a kind of unfair pressure to put on your ex, and your relationship, even if they got back together, would have little chance of success!
Error n. 17: drive your friends and family crazy by always talking about your ex
Okay, this is going to hurt a bit, but you had a life before your ex, and guess what, you managed to have some interesting conversations before you put your ex on. So don’t drive your friends and family totally crazy and isolate yourself from the people who really care about you.
Error n. # 18: cope as needy and attached to your ex
This may be your knee-jerk reaction, but all this behavior will do is reinforce your ex’s desire not to be with you because you are so demanding.
Mistake # 19 – Giving threats and ultimatums
You are desperate and you act totally irrational and all you want is for your pain to go away, so you will do almost anything to get your ex back.
Refusing threats and ultimatums will not bring you a happy ending, so behave with dignity and you will be surprised by the difference.
Mistake # 20 – Being vindictive
You’re angry and you want THERE TO BE PAIN, so you’re going to pay them back, right?
INCORRECT! You have to think long term here … that will not only infuriate your ex but everyone they meet and could also get you in a lot of trouble with the law!
Hey, I said 20 breakup mistakes, but I’m going to add one more just in case, that’s fine.
BONUS – Mistake # 21 – Making false promises that you will change
Okay, we all have a few little things that we could probably improve about ourselves and some of them can be quite realistic … yet others don’t even bother.
While it is possible to dress up a bit, there is no use pretending to be someone you are not because your armor will come off when you least expect it and you will be alone again anyway.
That’s a good list, right?
Do you know why these are such common mistakes?
Because your emotions are completely out of control as a result of your breakup and you will do ANYTHING to stop the pain and get your ex back.
You and I both know that acting this way isn’t the real you, right?
You are not a stalker, you are usually not clingy, needy or desperate or even as obsessed as you have been lately.
Let’s put the shoe on the other foot for a minute. If your ex was acting the way you have recently, would YOU want him to come back?
Let’s face it: you are very demanding, you are very emotional, clingy, you are desperate, you are obsessive – NOT the person your boyfriend / girlfriend, wife / husband fell in love with?
How to Thoroughly Clean the Board
What you need to do first is accept right now that you ARE divided (but temporary in your mind).
So what you have to do is heal AS FAST AS POSSIBLE so you can unleash your true self under all that emotional turmoil your ex fell CRAZY in love with.