First of all, ladies, forget about everything you have seen in porn movies. You don’t need to act like a porn star to make a man happy. In fact, quite the opposite. What a man wants is much more subtle and significant than exaggerated moans and screams.
Now I know that magazines like Cosmo and Glamor talk a lot about how to please a man with such “techniques”. But these superficial “tricks” won’t ultimately give you better sex or the deeply connected experience you want in bed. They will only make you feel cheap and disconnected.
The way you position your body or how you click your tongue will not captivate a man or keep him totally turned on. But, unleashing your will to pleasure!
Men are simple in a huge way that women miss: they get seriously turned on when a woman gives herself over to pleasure, because giving is the ultimate expression of the feminine.
Now, I don’t mean to say that you’re giving your power away to your man. Quite the contrary. Surrendering to pleasure is all about self-empowerment. When you give up “controlling” lovemaking, you enter into your power.
Many of us women fake orgasm and arousal to please men; This is a big mistake. Being inauthentic will not allow you to have more deeply connected and satisfying sex, and while it may turn him on for a while, he will eventually notice the limitation of your expression and feel empty making love to you.
The key to turning a man on and keeping him turned on is learning to turn yourself on! When you learn to surrender to your own pleasure, not the kind of manufactured pleasure you see in the movies, but genuine pleasure, your man will be totally turned on by you.
It’s key to understand that men really do want to serve women, both in and out of the bedroom. It’s their nature. By learning to give yourself over to pleasure, you become a receiver, someone to whom he can lavish his attention and love. If he can’t receive, he will feel useless, ineffective, and sexually inadequate.
If you’ve ever tried to give a gift to someone who couldn’t accept it, you understand what a man can feel in bed.
The key, ladies, is that you want to take off your artist hat and experience what is real to you. Instead of trying to look and sound like a woman down the throat of ecstasy, open yourself up to your authentic expression of pleasure. Stop trying to make the orgasm happen and let what is real emerge. Sometimes being real is quiet and doesn’t result in a thunderous climax. The more you reach and allow, and let go, the more he will feel completely aroused!
Of course, some men are totally caught up in the ego and want a woman to climax so they can feel sexually competent. Don’t play with this. Be real and let go and keep letting go, one breath at a time.
When you stop acting, you will have a genuine experience. This is what a man really wants, even if he doesn’t have the words to express it. He wants to feel you taking your pleasure and he wants to be invited to give you in the fullest way possible.
Breathe pleasure and receive. This is the greatest excitement for a man.
Remember, when you are convenient and “mind business” by faking or exaggerating your pleasure, you essentially close him and yourself off from the true pleasure that is possible for you.