Most negotiators don’t prepare. One area that is rarely considered in a negotiation is how you will use your voice. Your voice is constantly giving a message to the other party. Without any conscious effort on your part, the message you give will usually be an accurate reflection of your feelings at the time. Sharing these feelings with the other party may or may not be to your advantage, so it is too risky to let this happen by accident.
Your voice contributes up to 38% of your message (75% if they can’t see you). In a negotiation, your voice contributes to the credibility and confidence in your eyes. Both of these aspects are likely to have a significant impact on your chances of getting the best deal, so they deserve attention. You can do this before and during the negotiation.
Before
Think about the difficult times you are likely to encounter. Think about the worst case scenario (let’s say you’re caught off guard with a personal attack). How could you react? Take slow, deep breaths to calm yourself as you progress through the negotiation, and be prepared to repeat this as a “steadying” exercise if necessary.
During
Decelerate. Eager and eager negotiators talk too fast. Confident negotiators speak slowly and deliberately. They are carefully watching the other party’s reaction to every word they say. They take long breaks. They are comfortable with silence, so when they ask or are asked a question, they take their time.
cross-cultural
As we negotiate across cultures, the differences in how we use language become more obvious and important. This is because a negotiation process is based on a series of agreements that are traditionally marked with ‘yes’ or ‘no’ (two words that appear in the titles of about half of all negotiation books). The problem is that different cultures use these words differently. Low Context Cultures (very broadly, Western Cultures) freely use these words to indicate agreement or rejection. High Context Cultures, particularly Face Cultures (where “saving face” is highly valued), are much less likely to be as confrontational with their communication. They are much less likely to say a direct ‘no’, and ‘yes’ could mean ‘I understand’ and not ‘agree’.
Similarly, we often see negotiations between non-negotiating cultures (usually Western) and negotiating cultures (eg, East Asia and the Middle East). In such negotiations, the first reporter is very frustrated that the person from a Negotiating Culture “wouldn’t take no for an answer!” Every time they met after thinking they had an agreement, the other person would ask for the same concessions. Of course, this wasn’t her ‘fault’…it was her culture.
In such communications, your use of voice, particularly inflection, can add powerful meaning. Here are two examples:
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When asking for agreement, ask ‘yes?’ with a strong rising inflection in her voice. This makes it seem less threatening and encourages them to respond. (You may not get a ‘yes’ yet, but you’ll probably get a nod.)
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When saying ‘no’ say it with a strong downward inflection. Any statement spoken with a downward inflection will be perceived by the listener as more authoritative and definitive.
People are much more likely to believe how you say something than what you actually say, so you have to think, “What message do I want to give here?” With a little attention, especially in the areas of speed of speech, pauses, and inflection, you can make this a powerful ally in your negotiation.