Talk on Women’s Empowerment on Women’s Day-2010 in the American Center
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Today, on WOMEN’S DAY, we have gathered here to pay tribute to some of India’s most recognizable women who have made a difference in the way a woman is perceived and have ‘walked the road less travelled’ leaving their “footprints in the sand”. of time’…
We have all heard of the famous quote “Behind every successful man there is a woman” It clearly states that traditionally a woman’s place has been seen behind a man, a follower, as someone who is just as capable as a man and, however, he does not have the right to become what a man becomes.
The problem in India is that the society has never sincerely worked on gender equality. As long as a woman is born and raised to feel handicapped for being a woman, as long as she parades through marriage and is judged on her appearance, her fairness, etc., as long as she is vulnerable to society because she does not respect femininity her. the equation is unlikely to change.
Empowerment comes from the true freedom to be yourself!! The day a woman in India can live on her own terms without fear, and not see her status as a woman treated by her as a sign of weakness, she will see the scales improve in her favor. . One of the main challenges of women’s empowerment in India is to change the attitude of society towards women and of a woman towards herself!
As I stand here today, I wonder, how did I get here? It is because I realized that Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. In fact, you can have the life that you think only happens to other people.
I was born with stars in my eyes, in a very modest family where every day was a struggle and life was hard! Cooking, cleaning… that was considered the best job for a woman. All I could have dreamed of at that time was to be something my parents were proud of, a good mother and a good wife. Society demanded that I not look beyond that. Growing up was also difficult, as my height and physical strength blocked many career opportunities for me. But like any small town girl, my dreams were to become a stewardess, maybe an actress, or even Miss India!
Everyone said that I was too short, too fat. Too poor. My classmates called me “Mini Steamroller” and like a steamroller, my grades slipped…and my confidence sank too. Learn to sew, to cook, to mop… those were the orders that came from everywhere!!! But no!! Why should a woman learn all this on her own… I already knew the basics of home maintenance? I rebelled, and therefore, to weigh myself in the world of men, I joined the army. The military is known for its professionalism, hard life, and discipline. Here I discovered that both genders undergo identical training and women are expected to achieve the same fitness levels as men. The life of independence was hard and overcoming the challenges of this new life was to strengthen myself physically and mentally to fight against the law of society and show that women can too! That place of women is not only in the kitchen. I was thrown like clothes into a washing machine and polished inside and out, making me one of the first Himachal Pradesh army officers. A proud moment for me and a shock to the people who looked down on me physically and as a woman!
During my army training, we were taught grooming, etiquette, and poise. Whenever I interacted with my civilian friends, I noticed that they lacked the ability to carry themselves gracefully and always thought that technical knowledge was the most important thing to get ahead in life. The girls who were married had let themselves go and living for themselves had almost completely stopped! They had stooped to taking care of themselves… as the saying goes:
Hui pledge, aadhi gayi, shaadi hui, puri gaayi, baccha hua, maar gayi.
This made me think that if they are encouraged and these little graces can be taught to everyone outside, we Indian women who were struggling to come out of our shells could face the world with more confidence and boldness in personal, professional and social life. . And that’s where I blueprinted my plan to be a social graces coach and motivate other women to be the best they can be.
Having led an independent life in the army, when I got married, like any other lady, I had to make a lot of adjustments. I even had to give up my flourishing career. I realized again that it will take a long time for families to break out of the “women are just housewives” mold!! They paid the bills and helped the kids with the housework and didn’t have a moment to themselves! And to add to the misery, when the men returned home, they often said, “What did you do all day?”
My military training…and a course from a Swiss Indian completion school empowered me enough to stand up confidently and now that the children could do without my help. I immersed myself in my mission to make my sisters self-confident.
Even though I had this trunk full of knowledge, I soon realized that no one was interested in investing their time to learn these social skills and I thought it was a huge waste of time.
The ladies refused to come to class saying that their husbands feel they should spend time with the children and not waste time on useless things! Why do you need hairdressing classes? If it was some cooking or home decorating classes, they had full permission. Most of the time I would fight my way to give supplementary lessons in various places to spread awareness on this topic.
Women had to work very hard to free their husbands and men from the shackles of limiting belief patterns and social or religious conditioning that have traditionally kept women repressed and unable to see their true beauty and power. , and make them understand that a confident woman can raise a confident family! 2 to 10, 10 to 20… little by little the women realized that they also had to live for themselves… one thing led to another and I realized that India had come of age to be able to understand the importance of social graces and here I am today after coaching millions of students from different age groups and backgrounds.
Today, I am very happy to say that I am my own brand and I have been able to make a difference in the lives of many women, and I have been able to give them a solid foundation of confidence to face any situation. either at home or away.
My biggest feedback comes in the form of appreciation when a lady tells me her husband is proud to take her to office events, when a boss tells me he sees a difference in the attitude of his team, when a future girlfriend for her virtues more than her looks and a middle class girl tells me she won a beauty contest but my proudest moment is when I look around me and see the lives of so many women I have been able to touch and the bearing with which they carry and behave in your daily life.
My message to women is that the first step to self-empowerment is learning to love yourself first, because if you put yourself down, you can never truly love anyone else. No one is perfect, and expecting perfection from yourself or anyone else is a waste of time. By honoring yourself and treating yourself with respect, you set the stage for others to treat you with respect.
Another thing I would like to say to all my Indian sisters is DON’T BE AFRAID TO HAVE A DREAM. Because one of the most amazing things in this life is that dreams can come true, and I offer myself as living proof. With self-confidence and faith, truly incredible things can happen to you. I promise you one thing. It won’t be easy, but it’s easier than spending your life wishing you had done something and feeling disappointed in yourself for never trying.
Women’s empowerment cannot take place unless women come together and decide to empower themselves. A movement must be built that awakens the individual self in each and every woman for creative and generative action. This will help us sow the seed for the real empowerment of women in India.
If I, a girl from a small town with all my imperfections, managed to break the masculine world of the army, who wanted to be a stewardess, I am teaching them to be, who wanted to be Miss India, I was training them, who wanted to be A woman is hired actress to prepare them… IF I can make my dream come true. Trust me, can any of you…
I would like to end this speech with a beautiful sher!
Kaun kehta hai ki aasman mai surakh ho nahi sakta!
ek patther to tabiyet se uchalo yaaro!
Remember – Nothing is Impossible
Thank you