This morning while working out at the gym, I overheard a very interesting conversation that reminded me of the very wise old saying that “you are the average of the 5 people you date.” So there is a man at my local gym who always uses a machine for long periods of time, and I see him often on my training days. He saw his “gym buddy” coming from the other end of the room and started a “conversation” with him. He complained about how much he drank the day before and that he still feels like throwing up and that is why he does not do his squats today. He continued incessantly.
Then “Gym Buddy” joined in complaining even more about his own current job and life in addition to the man’s drinking escapades yesterday. The man cut off “Gym Buddy” in the middle of the conversation, and realized that she wasn’t talking about him anymore and wasn’t ready to listen or do his bit, so she asked him out for a drink. “smoking break”. . “Gym buddy” he told her, “I’m actually trying to quit smoking. I started yesterday.” Then the man looked at him with a long pause of disbelief that was half filled with genuine shock, but I can tell he really wanted her to join him for a smoke. So “gym buddy” made another feeble attempt to convince him once more, but this time in a much weaker tone, and said again, “I mean it. I’m really trying to quit.” The man asked “Why?” as if it were a bad decision and a foolish thing.
So this man started telling his own story about how he tried to quit smoking for 4 (short) weeks suffering the most horrible withdrawal symptoms and then went back to smoking. Even though there was no real moral or value to his story, he continued to justify and state all his reasons for quitting with great enthusiasm. Then “gym buddy” turned and asked, “And then what happened?” He simply said, “Nothing. I went back to where I started.” “Gym buddy” he paused for a split second and then said, “Fuck it, let’s go.” And they both started arguing about the brand of cigarettes they smoked and suggested sharing and dividing them.
In less than 2 minutes of sharing your experience of how you tried to quit and fail (in just 4 weeks), you have influenced and convinced another person to abandon your goal and intention in less than 24 hours. What’s scary is that it was just an acquaintance that she probably met once a month at the gym. There was a period of time when I preferred my personalized workouts from home just to let no chance of getting in touch with any energy that was negative. I became a “vibrating snob.”
I remember when I started my outdoor runs (and by that, I mean my short sprints) strangers would look at me with all kinds of strangers as if I had lost my marbles. Some even came up to me and told me to slow down. “Don’t run so fast.” Maybe it came with good intentions, but sometimes, the people who offer you the most “opinions and advice” are the ones who are nowhere close to being happy, healthy or abundant, or even offering their two cents. Usually they are the ones who are out of shape, emotionally and mentally bankrupt. Can you imagine if that person were a friend or even a family member, which is often the case, who is constantly talking to you about not changing? The good exchange rate? Is someone in your life keeping you from becoming the best version of yourself?