Often when we walk down the aisle, we want to believe that our husbands will mean everything to us.
We want them to love us unconditionally, encourage us, make us happy, and become our best friends.
However, we often feel let down when it comes to the marriage relationship because we are disappointed in our spouses for one reason or another.
While you should enjoy your marriage, one thing you need to understand is that marriage is not necessarily about your happiness. Marriage can help you become a better person and make you stronger. It should help enhance and improve you as a person, but sometimes enhancements and improvements can come at a cost and great pain.
When I say pain, I don’t mean abuse or adultery. These types of situations require counseling and/or other types of immediate intervention. Both of these situations are inexcusable and could ultimately lead to death.
Your marriage should be a reflection of Christ and His church. But sometimes it isn’t. In fact, sometimes your marriage can be dead!
However, it is possible to rekindle the love and revive your marriage.
After many years of frustration due to unfulfilled expectations, I now recognize how much I need to add value to my relationships.
And in the case of marriage, I know that I must give my husband 5 things that will make him happy and keep him coming home.
I’m not saying you should be the only one contributing to the marriage. Nor am I saying that her husband should be the only one who enjoys the marriage relationship. It definitely takes two for a marriage to work well.
But in my sixteen years of marriage, I’ve learned that certain things make most men happy and can ultimately help you strengthen your marriage, bringing it out of the grave and back to life.
These five things include:
1) Food – Truly this is part of the way to a man’s heart. Find out what her husband likes about her. Feed it and do it right. Make sure the food you give him is healthy and tasty.
2) Sex: This is probably the main element. But the irony is that many of the women I train have a hard time having sex with their husbands. Men have a great physical need for sex. It’s apart of who they are. I have often wondered why God made us so different in our views of sex. And while I have my opinions on this, I’ve learned to compromise AND enjoy sex with my husband. Having passionate sex can make your husband happy and bring your marriage closer together.
3) Respect – Women crave love and men crave respect. Again, this is an area where men and women differ in their perspectives, but if your husband knows that he respects you, instead of undermining you or being negative and argumentative, he may be more open to communicating with you. Often when a man feels that his wife does not respect him, he feels hurt, despondent, and less of a man. This causes him to close down and leave the marriage…at least emotionally.
4) Peace: Men prefer to run away from home than deal with a noisy and chaotic home. Try to make your home a haven of peace for your husband. Make it a place you want to come home to, physically, emotionally, and mentally.
5) Support: When a man dreams, he needs his wife to become his cheerleader, even when it seems that he is failing. When it’s dark, he needs you to be his light of hope.
Of course you cannot take the place of God. But often your husband needs you more than you think.
If you can provide these things within your marriage with a true heart, you can begin the journey of bringing life to a dead marriage. Be willing to understand her needs and be open to sharing yourself with your husband in this way. While doing some of these things may require sacrifice, they can ultimately bring a dead marriage back to life.