My extensive experience with tantric yoga, ancient sexuality practices, and contemporary Western therapeutic paradigms have exposed me to many ‘tricks of the trade’ when it comes to coming.
In this article I will try to extract some of this simple but powerful wisdom. Hopefully, men looking to learn how to last longer in bed, or even just educate themselves sexually, can start using this as a roadmap for their quest. And it is also a very worthwhile pursuit (speaking as a woman).
If there’s one thing I can’t resist, it’s a man who dedicates himself to learning more about his body and sexuality in general.
I know that I speak on behalf of many other women when I say that the most important quality of a lover is the commitment to improve the quality of their sexual experiences and those of their partner.
THE TRICKS TO LAST LONGER IN THE BED FOR MEN
1. Relax and increase your body awareness
There are many techniques to help you relax and be better able to “feel” your body. As a yoga practitioner, I have experience with powerful relaxation, meditation, and breathing techniques that can serve a man in his quest to last longer in bed.
Perhaps the simplest technique is to simply pay attention to your breathing during sex. Not controlling it, just noticing it.
Masters and Johnson also developed a technique known as “sensory focus exercises” that I use extensively in my practice as a sex surrogate therapist and “sex coach.”
2. Focus on pleasure in sex, rather than sexual performance.
Set aside any expectations about the outcome of sex. Entering into a sexual experience with a ‘plan’ deprives you of any ability to be open-minded.
You can’t learn from sex if you focus on how it should look.
Instead, watch the pleasure as it occurs. Pleasure will show you what is good. He is the best teacher when it comes to sex.
In other words, to last longer in bed, don’t think about lasting longer!
3. Increase awareness of your sexual arousal.
Again, open your awareness to your feelings of pleasure and pay close attention to your arousal levels. Consciousness is the first step to understanding; which is in itself a step towards mastery.
Focus on your pleasure during sex, during masturbation, or even the subtle pleasure you experience when a beautiful woman gets on the bus.
4. Extend your sexual arousal to higher levels.
There are many techniques you can learn to extend your pleasure. As you become more aware of your sexual arousal, a natural increase in your arousal level is inevitable.
This will happen because you will become familiar and comfortable with your pleasure, and your body will propel you to greater heights naturally, allowing you to not only enjoy sex more, but also last longer!
Be sure to have sex and pleasure often, so your body can continue to teach you.
5. Master your sexual arousal consistently at higher levels.
As your sexual pleasure naturally increases with more practice, you will begin to “play” with it.
Manipulate your breathing patterns, sexual energy field, and subtle inner sensations, to the point where you can begin to feel dominance over them.
Once again, ancient wisdom, sex manuals, and other people’s experiences are full of revealing possibilities.
6. Get used to a constant level of intense arousal.
Get in the habit of developing your sexual pleasure and enjoying it fully. Let the moments when you feel pleasure expand.
Let the arousal continue as if it never had to end. Of course it will, but you don’t care when … let it go. Remember, to last longer in bed, you don’t have to worry about lasting longer!
7. Stop thinking
Take your conscious mind out of the picture. Research or experiment with techniques to shut down your self-talk.
Experience all this intense and blissful pleasure, not in your head, not thinking about it … but in your body. Feel it!
THE KEY is to connect more deeply with your own sensations and feelings.
Here is an additional trick for you. It is also the most important.
8. Remember your own commitment to learn and grow … it all comes back to you.
By the way, if some of these tricks seem to be a bit mocking, it is because they are. Each could be the subject of various articles or very in-depth sexuality workshops. Learning how to last longer in bed goes hand in hand with experiencing the true pleasure of sex.
I want you to take the time to reflect on these tricks and look further. I wish you all the best in your adventures and I wish you much pleasure.
Copyright 2005 Mukee Okan