Patrick Carnes is a speaker and author who has become an expert in the field of sexual addiction and codependency. “Out of the Shadows,” his first book, clearly depicts the way lives and families are hurt when intimacy is replaced with compulsive behavior.
Dr. Carnes defines addiction and uses case studies to help the reader better understand how addiction begins and progresses in people’s lives. His addictive cycle chart shows several significant stages that contribute to and reinforce addiction: these include the belief system, impaired thinking, unmanageability, worry, ritualization, sexual compulsiveness, and despair that add to the problems the addict has. individual faced initially.
Personal pain and lack of intimacy can be difficult. Oftentimes, childhood trauma can fuel a person’s desire to find escape. Sex is at the center of our identities, but if it is used as a replacement for healthy relationships, the consequences can be devastating.
Dr. Carnes argues that there are different levels of addiction. He also describes how cybersex has become a major problem for some due to the availability and secrecy it provides.
But the sex addict is not the only one who suffers. Family members can be involved in coercion and often become enablers in their attempts to fix things or hide it.
Dr. Carnes is not only a pioneer, but also a researcher who has invested years of his life in developing effective ways to communicate with and treat people affected by sexual addiction. In addition to the narrative, he uses charts, checklists, and provides resources to aid comprehension.
The good news is that there is an effective treatment available. Dr. Carnes clearly shows how twelve-step programming can help the addict come out of the shadows and learn to live a healthy and fulfilling life.
“Out of the Shadows” was originally published in 1983 and has been revised twice since then. Therefore, the information and research is current.
A resource guide contains a list of recommended reading, as well as contact information for various organizations that help sex addicts.
This book is suitable for therapists, addicts, codependents, and people who just want to learn more on the subject. It is written in an easy to understand style.
I like the fact that “Out of the Shadows” not only describes the danger signs, dynamics, and consequences of sexual addiction, but also offers solutions and hope for those who want to make positive changes.