Becoming a parent is usually greeted with great joy and enthusiasm. It is a time of rejoicing, anticipation, and fulfillment. Even movie stars, whose marriages are notorious for their brevity, wear their “stomach bumps” as a badge of honor. Kate Middleton’s pregnancy made the royal family smile and the media drool over such a newsworthy event.
But Andrew and Penny Stanway, who had conducted a study a few years ago, say in their essay “Choices About Childbirth” that 40% of women have mixed feelings about their pregnancy and 10% are positively upset. 70% of mothers are indifferent to their babies at birth, and four out of five feel that the image of motherhood is romanticized.
Some attitudes that cause lack of enthusiasm in parents: –
• The main cause is fear of the unknown. Mothers, family, and friends exaggerate their own birth experiences, the complications that may arise, and even the possibility of death. This gives the expectant mother a distorted image of motherhood as a dangerous disease to fear. Susan Arms in her book “Immaculate Deception” says that women are tricked into believing in a “safe” delivery. Even the Bible refers to pain during childbirth as a curse for Eve’s sin in the Garden of Eden.
• Fear that the child may be abnormal or suffer from various disabilities.
• Doubts about the competence or maturity to be a father.
• Fear of greater responsibility. This shows some selfishness, as parenting is time-consuming and a full-time job.
• Loss of freedom. Children are seen as an imposition or nuisance that requires changes in lifestyle and changes in relationships, especially with the spouse, due to lack of time.
• If the child is conceived through rape or a loveless relationship, the woman develops a subconscious resentment against the child growing in her womb.
• Lack of marital or family support deprives women of the excitement of having children. Single mothers are around 10-15% of all pregnant women. Not all are happy with their pregnancy. There may also be financial concerns.
• Loss of beauty. During the different stages of pregnancy, the woman loses her shapely figure. Your weight increases, your legs swell, your blood pressure can go up. In the first few months, you may be tormented by vomiting. The excessive pigmentation of your skin, especially on the face, makes it feel ugly.
How to deal with unemotional parents: –
1. Education: The purpose of education is to obtain accurate information about the anatomy, physiology, and functions of the body during pregnancy and childbirth; to dispel myths, superstitions and ‘tales of old women’ about pregnancy. God has bestowed amazing honor on women, making them co-creators with Him to bring life into this world. This makes up for all the difficulties and discomforts during pregnancy.
2. Encouragement: Young couples should develop a positive attitude towards pregnancy. Conflicts in relationships between the spouses must be resolved before contemplating pregnancy. If the relationship is on tough ground, pregnancy can only stress and tear you apart. It is important that both husband and wife are involved in the well-being of the fetus. The husband has an obligation to support his wife. Parenthood requires maturity, mutual fidelity, and a willingness to make adjustments when necessary.
3. Enthusiasm: Fatherhood is a gift from God to couples. Improve the quality of their lives. The excitement and anticipation of a new addition to the family should be maintained throughout the pregnancy. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “This time, like every time, it is very good, if we know what to do with it.” Spouses must embrace each other emotionally. You must cultivate inner strength and stability by trusting in God, the giver of life.
“Children are an inheritance from the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” Psalm 127: 3
Kate Wiggins, a mother says: “Every child is a new thought of God, an always fresh and radiant possibility.”
The job of being a parent is a challenge to be accepted and a responsibility to enjoy. It is an opportunity to grow and mature emotionally. Happy couples make parents happy. There are many reasons to be excited.