I’ve never had an addiction to drugs or alcohol… but there are other addictions that are just as debilitating and destructive… like the addiction to being broke.
“Any form of addiction is bad, regardless of whether the narcotic is alcohol, morphine, or idealism.” -Jung
Two weeks ago, I went on a road trip that took me to a place I’d rather not visit.
You see, I have a twenty-five-year-old daughter who is in jail.
Writing and speaking those words feels like a foreign language to me, even now, after seven years of watching his life deteriorate from heroin addiction.
I’m pretty sure I’m not the only parent going through this surreal experience. One of the most transformational changes that has happened in me is becoming transparent about the whole thing. I no longer care about the stigma associated with addicts and their families. I care about reaching out to other moms and dads to be a support, an encouragement, a friend, to listen when nothing makes sense in their chaotic world of their child’s addiction.
It is clear that the problem of addiction is not limited by demographics: it occurs both in good and stable families and in families with problems; it happens to rich families as often as it does to poor ones; it happens in big cities and small towns; It happens to honor students, athletes, and class presidents. happened to us
She is now in long-term treatment, and while talking with her, I realized that her recovery from heroin addiction parallels my recovery from broke addiction.
Do not think? Stay with me on this and you will see the similarities between our recovery from addiction.
For the last seven years, she has blamed everyone outside of herself for her addiction: family, friends, school, work… it was always the focus of her reasoning why she couldn’t do better with her life, her choices.
For my entire adult life, I blamed everyone outside of me for my bankrupt addiction. My perception was that no one else in my family seemed to have a problem paying their bills; everyone else was taking vacations and buying new cars; the government took too much of my paycheck; my employer didn’t give me a good raise; the credit card companies practically begged me to use their new card: my life of living paycheck to paycheck and blaming everything and everyone for the struggle was not unlike my daughter’s list of excuses for her heroin addiction.
For the last seven years, I’ve been trying to fix it. I have spoken words of encouragement, hope and safety; I got her out of jail on bail; I have given him money and a place to live; I have visited her in treatment centers, city jails, and prisons. Everything I did, every word I spoke and every letter I wrote was done in the hope that THIS time, she would “get it”, this time she would break free of her addiction. She was bombarded with messages not only from me, but from everyone who loved her.
In the same way, business opportunities to make money have been trying to fix me for years. I have been bombarded with messages of hope and encouragement that financial freedom is possible, within reach. Each message of the endless methods and systems hopes that yours will be the one I choose and free me from the addiction to being broke.
Over the past seven years, he’s been through so many treatment programs that I’ve lost count. She always rushed to do the work required, sat through the counseling and finished the programs to allow her release. She knew how to make the system work well, always doing the right thing to get ahead, and everything indicated from the outside that she had successfully completed the course and that she would recover from the addiction. When one didn’t work, she found herself doomed to try another.
It hasn’t been any different for me… I signed up and joined so many opportunities to earn money from home that I lost count. And just like my daughter, I rushed through the steps, listened to part of the training, and began to complete all the steps to lead to success. When one didn’t work, I’d find another to try: the shiny object that shone the brightest would get my commitment and my money just as my daughter would be lured in for one more “hit” to satisfy her heroin addiction.
But, we both continue to fail. We both stood powerless over our addiction.
We continued to fail until we realized that the answer to recovery from addiction comes from within.
The answer to recovery from any addiction requires taking a hard look at who you are and who you want to become. It requires an understanding of the beliefs that have shaped your life. It demands a release from those beliefs that are pulling you back into a deep, dark hole, keeping you from moving forward in your recovery from addiction.
She is working to reunite with the girl she was before heroin addiction took over. She is creating the woman she wants to be. For the first time in seven years, I see strength and confidence emerge in my daughter, whose self-esteem began to plummet years ago. I see hope and faith bringing her words to life. I see her acceptance of responsibility and choice, forgiveness and reconciliation, and a spirit of determination to succeed.
Me too? My recovery from bankruptcy addiction has led me to discover false beliefs about money that are stored in my subconscious, beliefs that were formed from everything I saw, heard and experienced as a child. In addition, the fear of failure also lurks in my subconscious…and requires me to work on purging those self-limiting beliefs that are holding me back. I am creating the woman I want to be, financially free to live life on my own terms. My determination to succeed keeps me putting one foot in front of the other, doing whatever it takes to recover from this dead-end addiction.
You see, it’s not a particular rehab program or the “right” opportunity that is the answer to our recovery from addiction, it’s waking up and realizing that we had the answer all along, inside of us.
One of my favorite “before addiction” memories of my daughter is when she was only twelve years old and landed the lead role as Dorothy in a Wizard of Oz ballet. I loved seeing her grace the stage with her dance. As we’ve talked about her recovery, I remind her of what Dorothy discovered at the end of her quest to come home… that she always had the power within her.
I don’t know if this article worries you or inspires you.
I don’t know what you’re dealing with in your life right now.
Addiction of any kind destroys life. We all have the ability to change, to recover from the addiction that keeps us from being the best we can be.
If you’ve tried and failed so many times that you’ve lost count, maybe it’s time to try one more time.
For the first time, we are seeing the results of bankruptcy addiction recovery. It is happening to us and it can happen to you.