People express and receive love in different ways. Dr. Gary Chapman identifies these as the five love languages.”
1. Quality time: attention, quality conversation, time spent together doing something meaningful or enjoyable. Time is love. Attention is love.
2. Words of Affirmation – “You are beautiful.” Words of recognition, encouragement, or appreciation. “You are a generous, caring, kind and warm person. I love who you are.” Words of affirmation are words of love.
3. Gifts – From big to small. flowers Gifts. Cards. cars. Houses. Jewels. Teddies. Clothing. A gift can be a great gift of love. Some people feel more loved with a gift.
4. Acts of Service – Cooking dinner, washing the car, running an errand, cleaning the house, helping with one task, time spent contributing to another.
5. Physical touch – Affection. Massage. Make love. Of course, everyone has their favorite way to be touched. And, touching equals love for many.
Knowing these 5 Love Languages allows you to GIVE and RECEIVE love from others more fully. Of course, we can all appreciate and enjoy each “love language”, however, there are usually one or two that make you feel MOST LOVED. What is your main love language? How do you show love to those you love? What we tend to do for others is often a clue to what we most enjoy receiving.
“If you express love in a way that your partner doesn’t understand, he or she won’t realize you’ve expressed love. Perhaps your husband needs to hear words of encouragement, but you feel like cooking a nice dinner will cheer him up. When he’s still You’re feeling down, you’re bewildered. Or maybe your wife longs to spend time with you, time away from the kids and the TV. The flowers you gave her just don’t communicate that you care.”
— The 5 love languages
How I used the “5 love languages”…
1. Become aware of my own “love language”… what makes me feel most loved? So, I can ask for more than I want. For me, that is “Conversation/Quality Time” and Affection.
2. FEEL more love from others, even if they don’t know the 5 Love Languages. If someone in my life gives me quality time, a word of affirmation, a gift, an act of service or is affectionate with me… now I take as LOVE. So as a result, I feel so much more love from my friends, family, and significant others.
3. Become aware of the love language of “others”, so that I can make sure my friends, family AND significant others feel the love I have for them. It’s not just about romantic relationships. And it’s more fun to spend quality time, give a word of affirmation, a gift, an act of service or affection…because I’m “intentionally” sending more love with each of these.
Get “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman… and learn more about how to apply these concepts in your life to maximize the love you give and receive in your relationships.